French Fries is the 21st episode of The Looney Tunes Show.
While Bugs watches a football game, Daffy abruptly switches the channel to watch an Off Duty Cop marathon, much to Bugs' annoyance. As comeuppance, Bugs puts the football game back on, and in an attempt give Bugs a coffee kick, Daffy trips and falls off the couch, destroying the glass coffee table in the process. Later, while Bugs cheers as the town's football team goes to the playoffs, he hears construction noises and leaves to check it out. He sees Yosemite Sam assembling a football goal on his lawn, then questions its construction. Sam reveals that he gets to kick a field goal during the halftime show in the game next weekend and that if he succeeds, then he'll win a million dollars, even though he hates football, much to Bugs jealousy. He begins to practice, and Bugs points out that his window will be broken if he makes the goal. Sam doesn't care and proceeds anyways, after saying that he'd better get the window repairman on the line, but the ball bounces off the goal and breaks Sam's window instead. Immediately, Bugs, smirking, offers to get a window-repair man on the line while Sam looks at his broken window.
At Pizzarriba, Porky is just about to tell Bugs and Daffy some news, but Daffy, interrupting him, questions if he got a girlfriend. Speedy gives the trio their food and puts a basket of fries by Daffy's food. Daffy incorrectly tells Speedy that Porky got a girlfriend, but Porky tells Speedy that he really doesn't. Speedy suggests that he should get a beard, because he's got so much "face". After he zips away, Porky announces the news: he got the trio some rare and valuable tickets to the game next weekend, since his uncle works in the department. After Bugs gleefully thanks him, Porky says that there aren't no two friends that he'd rather go with; He then takes some fries, which shocks Daffy, since they were his fries. Later in the car, after hearing Daffy's complaints, Bugs states that Porky probably thought they were for the whole table to share, but Daffy stubbornly insists that they were his, and states that's his relationship with Porky is over. Daffy then proceeds to walk home in an attempt to demonstrate his anger to the indifference of Bugs. He than regrets his decision, when Bugs drives away.
Driving back home, Bugs sees Sam in the middle of the road preparing to kick a field goal and honks at him, only for Sam to signal Bugs to go around him. Nearby, a window repairman informs Sam that the fixed window will cost $170. Sam sees the expense as small compared to his potential prize and orders him to bill him, and attempts another practice field goal, only for the ball to ricochet backward and break a window on the repairman's truck. As the repairman reverses toward Sam, Sam runs and hops over a fence in panic, causing him to be attacked by Bugs' dog, much to Bugs' annoyance. Bugs then enters his house for a snack and spots Daffy, who is upset about his indifference toward his earlier attempt to be dramatic.
Porky calls Bugs to inform him that he retrieved the tickets for the upcoming football game, and that they were better then he'd thought they would be. Daffy tells Bugs to tell Porky that "that piece of garbage can keep his garbage tickets", but after Bugs passes it off as nothing, Daffy becomes enraged while Bugs tries to keep him calm. When Porky questions Daffy's mood, Bugs tells him that it's because he ate some of Daffy's fries, and Porky states that he thought those were for the table. After Bugs tells this to Daffy, he angrily claims they weren't and calls him a thief, even though Porky had payed for everyone's lunch. He then states that he won't talk to him, and storms away. Trying to calm the situation down, Bugs claims to Porky that all that matters are the tickets and asks "So what if you ate a few of his fries?". At this, a confused and angered Porky asks Bugs if he's on Daffy's side, then Bugs claims he is neutral in this agreement. Porky angrily tells him to forget about the tickets, since he will not take him or Daffy to the game, abruptly hanging up.
While Bugs becomes upset about missing the game, a football crashes through one of his windows thanks to Sam. After witnessing Bugs, Sam flees to the same yard and gets attacked by the same dog. Afterwards, Bugs walks in on Daffy ripping pictures of Porky, because he's "putting the garbage in the garbage can. Bugs tells Daffy to apologize to Porky because he wants to attend the game, but a stubborn Daffy refuses to comply. Bugs once again explains that Porky thought the fries were for the table, and when Daffy asks if Bugs is on Porky's side, Bugs emphasises his neutrality and claims there are no sides in the argument. A furious Daffy retreats to Bugs' room, and after Bugs points out that he's in the wrong room, another football crashes through a window in Bugs' room and a still-angry Daffy exits, calling it off as Bugs' problem.
In an attempt to go to the game, Bugs delivers Porky a gift basket and claims it is an apology on Daffy's behalf. He does the same to Daffy and claims it is an apology from Porky. The unsuspecting friends agree to let go of the argument and go the game, but there, the truth is exposed and they find out that Bugs staged the apologies, when they thank each other for the gift baskets, when they are right about to go in. Furious at this, Porky snatches the trio's tickets and rips them apart before storming off. Eager to enter the stadium, Bugs collects some of the shreds and tries to pass them off as his ticket and explain his predicament, but it is hopeless. Later, Sam arrives at the stadium and holds up his VIP pass to cut in line, while a desperate Bugs searches for a dropped ticket. Just as Sam tries to enter, Bugs stops him and tells him that a good luck charm is a rabbit's foot. Sam is convinced at this and he takes Bugs in the stadium with him.
After entering, Bugs tries to go to the stands but is stopped by Sam, who insists on having him along due to his rabbit feet. At Pizzarriba, Daffy watches the football game. Porky walks in and asks for a table, only to be told that the only seat vacant is beside Daffy, unluckily. In a locker room, Bugs groans as he is forced to watch Sam stretch. When an official tells them that half time is nearing, Bugs sighs as he misses the game. To Bugs' surprise, Sam wears boots and not cleats, ignoring Bugs' advice that he'll slip if cleats aren't worn and thinking he's jealous. The two exit, and Bugs excitedly thinks he'll get to see the game but is disproved when the orchestra blocks his view. As Sam steps out, he immediately begins slipping and runs into Bugs, who once again advises him to wear cleats. Ignoring this, he borrows a cheerleader's nail file and files away at his boots to give them grip.
At Pizzarriba, Daffy and Porky begin arguing. On the TV, they see Sam, who is about to kick his field goal. Before doing so, he points out his filed boots, which now resemble high heeled shoes, then rubs Bugs' foot for luck. As he runs to kick the ball, one of his heels gets caught in the ground, causing him to trip and scream in pain. Back at Pizzarriba, Daffy points out to Speedy that he never got fries, which he got during his last visit, glaring at Porky while noting it. Speedy points out that those were for the table as a compliment, and Daffy earns an angry stare from Porky. As Daffy points out that the debate is finally answered, he snags Porky's slice of pizza and gets another hostile glare. Watching the game, Speedy sees Sam being escorted by the paramedics and Bugs successfully kick a field goal, earning himself a million dollars.
After the event, Bugs and Daffy gather at Pizzarriba, and Daffy points out his disbelief in Bugs donating his prize to charity. They spot Porky with a girlfriend, and they see that he also grew a beard, which was Speedy's advice. As the new couple exit, Speedy considers growing a beard himself.
|Jeff Bergman||Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck|
|Bob Bergen||Porky Pig|
|Maurice LaMarche||Yosemite Sam|
|Fred Armisen||Speedy Gonzales|
|Kristen Wiig||Lola Bunny|
|Powers Boothe||Leslie Hunt|
- Daffy: My friendship with Porky is over!
Daffy: He ate my french fries!
Bugs: What french fries?
Daffy: The ones that came with my sandwich!
Bugs: He probably thought they were for the table.
Daffy: They were not for the table! They were my fries! They came with my sandwich! You want fries? Order fries! But you do not take someone else's fries! That is a garbage move! Porky is a piece... of... garbage!
Bugs: Don't you think you're being a little dramatic?
Daffy: I am not being dramatic! (puts on glasses and wraps a scarf around his neck and gets out of the car) Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to walk myself home. That's right. Walk home through this unsavory neighborhood where I'll surely be sat upon by ruffians and miscreants, street hustlers and road monkeys. None of whom, by the by, come close to being the kind of garbage that is Porky Pig! Now good day, sir.
(Bugs drives away; Daffy looks back, feeling alone) Bugs?
- Window Repairman: Hey, I fixed your window. That'll be $170.
Yosemite Sam: Bill me. I'm about to be a millionaire!
- Daffy: (After having walked all the way back from Pizzarriba) Don't you know when someone's being dramatic!
Bugs: It's Porky.
Daffy: Hide your french fries.
Bugs: (Answers through phone) Hey, Pork.
Porky: (Answers through phone) I just picked up the tickets. Our seats are even better than I thought!
Bugs: Oh, that's great! Daffy, Porky got the tickets.
Daffy: Tell that piece of garbage that he can keep his garbage tickets!
Porky: What did he say?
Bugs: He didn't say anything. It was nothing.
Daffy: (Talking to Porky over the phone) It was not nothing! I definitely said something!
Porky: What's wrong with Daffy?
Bugs: I guess you ate some of his fries.
Bugs: Daffy's mad at you because you ate some of his fries.
Porky: I thought they were for the table!
Bugs: He thought they were for the table.
Daffy: (Furiously yells at Porky over the phone) They were not for the table!
Bugs: Relax! He just got us playoff tickets.
Porky: Let me talk to him.
Bugs: He wants to talk to you.
Daffy: I'm not talking to him. I'm not talking to you. You ate my fries!
Porky: I thought they were for the table!
Daffy: Did you pay for the fries? Because if you didn't, then you don't get any fries.
Porky: Uh, I did pay for the fries. I bought everybody lunch!
Daffy: Ooh! So you think that if you pay for a meal, then you get to eat everyone's food. Well, remind me to never pay for anyone's meal.
Porky: You never pay for anyone's meal.
Daffy: That's because I have class. But none of this matters because I am not talking to you! (The phone beeps as he tries to hang up) How do you hang this up?! Tell him good-bye. No, I'm not talking to him. Tell him I didn't say good-bye.
Bugs: (talking to Porky over the phone) Porky, don't listen to Daffy. All that matters is you got the tickets and we're all go to the game. So what if you ate a few of his fries.
Porky: His fries?! You're on Daffy's side?!
Bugs: No, I'm not on anybody's side.
Porky: You know what? Forget about the tickets. No one's going to the game! (Hang up)
- Bugs: There's only 25 people in front of us. We're almost inside! Playoffs!
Porky: Daffy, I'm really glad we settled things.
Daffy: Well, it took a big man to admit they were wrong.
Porky: I couldn't agree more.
Bugs: Great! Everyone agrees. Took a big man, there's no need to talk about it anymore, Because we're only 16, 17, 18 people away from the big game!
Porky: That was a really nice gift basket.
Bugs: You know, the thing about gift baskets? Is they're so much nicer when you don't talk about them.
Daffy: I don't know about really nice. I mean, once you take off the ribbons and the bows And all the straw, it's just a couple of scented candles and some weird fruit.
Bugs: Whatever it is, it's over, it's done, we've moved on, And we're 9, 10, 11 people away, So let's just silently bide our time.
Porky: Well, regardless, it's the thought that counts.
Daffy: I agree.
Porky: So, thank you.
Daffy: For what?
Porky: The gift basket.
Daffy: What gift basket?
Bugs: We're two people away. Let's talk about this when we get inside.
Porky: The one you gave me.
Daffy: You gave me a gift basket.
Porky: Why would I give you a gift basket?
Bugs: Just give him your ticket.
Daffy: For eating my fries!
Bugs: You're holding up the line.
Porky: I thought they were for the table!
Daffy: They came with my sandwich!
Porky: So you didn't get me a gift basket?!
Daffy: No! You got me a gift basket!
Porky: I didn't give you a gift basket!
Bugs: I got the gift baskets! I don't care about the french fries! I just want to go to the game!
Porky: Well, no one's going to the game! (He ripped his tickets and throws them up in mid-air)
(Porky walks away while Bugs picks up the ripped tickets)
Daffy: I wouldn't want to go to a game with a piece of garbage, anyway!
Bugs: Here's my ticket. Kind of a long story. They had a fight. French fries.
- Porky: Oh, I'm sorry. Is this for the table or it is just for you.
Daffy: I'm not talking to you.
Porky: Well, I'm not talking to you!
Daffy: Too late. You just talked to me.
Porky: Real mature, Daffy.
Porky: Stop copying me.
Daffy: Stop copying me.
Porky: Daffy. Stop it.
Daffy: Daffy. Stop it.
Porky: I'm serious.
Daffy: I'm serious.
- Bugs: Mehh, what's up, neighbor?
Yosemite Sam: Outta my way! I got a field goal to kick.
Bugs: Well, good luck. You're gonna need it.
Yosemite Sam: What's that suppose to mean?
Bugs: Well, if I only had a one chance to win a million dollars, I'd want luck on my side. And you know nothing's luckier than a rabbit's foot.
Yosemite Sam: Oooh! You'd be willing to part with it?
Bugs: No, You idiot! Take me in there with you.
Yosemite Sam: Oh, right.
- (While in the locker room)
Bugs: Without question, I have a worst seat in the stadium.
(Sam grunts while he's getting a warm up)
Official: 5 minutes till halftime. You know, you're missing an incredible game.
(Bugs groans after he heard the whistle blow then Sam grunts)
Bugs: You're not wearing cleats?
Yosemite Sam: Heh, these dudes are my secret weapon. A pointy toe make the ball fly true.
Bugs: You're gonna slip. You're gotta wear cleats.
Yosemite Sam: Ooh, I see what's going on. You're jealous of me. You don't want me to win a million dollars.
Bugs: I'm not jealous of you.
Yosemite Sam: Well, too bad for you 'cause the bootsies are staying on the tootsies. Come on, rabbit. Bring your feet.
- This is the fourth episode to not feature a CGI Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote short since The Fish and Visitors.
- Yosemite Sam breaking windows kicking the football.
- Yosemite Sam getting bitten by a dog.