The Looney Tunes Show Wiki

[audience cheering]

[audience cheering]

That's it! I figured it out.

Daffy: I finally know what I want to do with my life.

Be a professional basketball player.

Bugs: You're three-and-a-half feet tall.

Ugh! You know, you're a real dream killer.

I hope you don't ever have children.

I thought you were a hairdresser.

It's time for a new challenge.

And I can't find my scissors.

I'll be a farmer, work the land, feed the people.

They get up at 4:00 in the morning.

Huh. I know what I'll be, a mountain climber!

Bugs: Did you say climber?

[panting]

Climb..

...large mountains.

Daffy: Scale, uh, im-impossible peaks!

Bugs: You can't even climb the stairs!

It's the altitude!

[panting]

I've reached the summit!

What a view!

[theme music]

[telephone ringing]

♪ Hmm-hmm-hmm-mmm ♪♪

Thank you for calling

Trans Visitron Cable.

How may I offer you

excellent service today?

Good morning, Julie.

Do you know why I'm smiling?

Because it's Monday.

And that's the day I randomly

select one of our customers

and turn off their cable.

♪ Hmm-hmm-hmm-mmm ♪♪

Let's see who is today's

unlucky customer.

(man on TV)

'And we're all set to go.

It's game one of the finals.'

'We have two evenly

matched teams.'

Here we go.

'And here's the tip..'

What?

No, no, no, no,

no, no. No don't!

This-this-this

can't be happening!

[telephone ringing]

[chuckling]

Let the fun begin!

Thank you for calling

Trans Visitron Cable.

'Please hold while

we access your account.'

beep

'Thank you for holding.'

'The name associated

with this account'

'is Buges Buney.'

- 'Is this correct?'

- 'Yes.'

Thanks, Mr. Buney.

Heh-heh-heh.

'Please tell us in a few words

why you are calling'

'so we may better assist you.'

'You can say simple phrases

like, "Pay my bill."'

- 'Or, "My cable's out".'

- My cable's out.

I understand you want

to terminate your cable service.

- 'Is this correct?'

- What?

No! This is not correct!

Oh! Ho-ho-ho!

Oh, this is a good one.

(Bugs)

'My cable is out!'

I'm sorry. I'm having

trouble understanding you.

Please try again later.

Goodbye.

(Bugs)

'What?

No, no, no, no no..'

Ha ha ha! Let's see how long

it takes him to call back.

- They hung up on me!

- I'm not surprised.

You were yelling at them.

So much hostility.

Seriously, do not have children.

Seven, eight, nine..

[telephone ringing]

Huh, faster than I thought.

That Mr. Buney's

a real feisty one.

Thank you for calling

Trans Visitron.

My name is Cecil. How can I

offer you excellent service?

Oh, hi, yes, uh,

my cable went out

and it's Game One of the finals

and I'm missing it.

Oh, dear, well..

I'd be happy

to send a technician

to your home... tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

The game's on now!

Can't you press a button

and turn my cable back on?

Oh-ho-ho!

Mr. Buney..

...do you really think

I can just turn your cable

on and off with

the click of a mouse?

Fine! I'll take

the appointment tomorrow.

At least I'll see Game Two.

Okey-doke.

A technician will be

there some time

between 8:00 a.m.

and 6:00 p.m.

But that's all day!

Heh-heh-heh.

And just a friendly reminder

someone does need to be

home during those hours.

Anything else

I can help you with?

No, you've done enough.

Did I provide you

with excellent service?

Yes. Beyond excellent.

- 'Thank you.'

- 'Who was that?'

A customer service

representative.

You know, someone whose job it

is to make people miserable.

[gasps]

You can get paid

to make people miserable?

All these years,

I've been doing it for free.

Here, you go be

an underwater welder.

I think I just found

what I was born to do.

Get ready, people.

I'm about to make you

a whole lot more

miserabler..

...for money!

[instrumental music]

clack clack

- Tina.

- What? I'm busy!

On a resume,

should everything be in bold

everything be underlined,

or everything be in italics?

- Hi!

- Oh, hey, Lola.

What do you need with a resume?

I need to make

a photo copy of my hand.

- What?

- 'Or do I just go for it.'

And do the whole thing

in a fun font?

There's this palm reader

that's really good

but she's in Tierra del Fuego,

so I need

to send her

a photo copy of my palm.

- Excuse me, miss?

- Yeah, give me a minute.

You can use that

copier over there.

- Thanks!

- I'm sorry.

- I'm kind of in a hurry.

- 'Which font?'

Old West or Triberica?

Ooh, or Triberica Grand?

Hello! I need

a hundred copies of this.

I said give me a minute!

Hmm, Tina and Bugs,

so much hostility.

- It says, "Load paper?"

- Then load paper!

- Oh, thanks.

- How about my 100 copies?

How about I take your head

and shove it in that machine

and make a 100 copies

of your stupid face?

- You got time for that?

- Tina, what was that about?

- That guy was being a jerk.

- He was a customer.

- So, put a smile on your face.

- Easy for you to say!

You don't have to deal

with these people.

Tina, I'm afraid

until you can become

a little more positive

and upbeat

I have no choice

but to suspend you.

But that's not my personality.

How am I supposed to be

positive and upbeat?

I don't know.

Find someone to teach you.

Positive and upbeat.

What kind of nitwit's

always positive and upbeat?

Toner exploded!

Ooh, looks like I have freckles.

I've always wanted freckles.

Look, freckles!

[instrumental music]

click

Alright, it's eight O'clock.

Someone will be here

between now and 6:00.

Hopefully closer to now.

[instrumental music]

Thanks again for letting me

pick your brain.

Are you kidding? No one's ever

wanted to pick my brain before.

Well, except for that one

time

when I volunteered

for those medical experiments.

screech

Wha..

Hey! That's our space!

Oh, that's okay,

we'll find another one.

Have a great day!

Oh, I love your hat.

You've got to be kidding me.

He took your space.

- That didn't bother you?

- Eh.

'There's plenty spots

to go around.'

'Besides, this one's

much further away.'

What's good about that?

It gives me more time

to practice my new walk.

What do you think?

More arms or less arms?

'More arms, for sure.'

[instrumental music]

- Thank you!

- Oh, I get it.

You wanted to take me

to the mall so that I'd see

what it's like to be on

the other side of the counter

so that the next time

I'm dealing with a customer

I'll be nice and friendly

and remember that in the end,

we're all just people, right?

No, I just wanted to get

some new lip gloss.

But that would have been

a good idea. You're smart!

I'm not that smart.

I'm about to lose my job.

- How do you do it?

- What?

Not get annoyed with people.

Oh, I don't know.

I guess it's just in my

genes.

Oh, no, wait,

I'm not wearing jeans.

Oh! I should get some jeans!

Whoa! Hey,

what are you doing?

You don't just spray perfume

on someone without askin'.

- No one likes that.

- Ooh, Tina!

This lady just

sprayed perfume on me

and I didn't even have to ask.

Hi, can you maybe just

spray a little here?

Yeah, and here,

and then just this whole

this whole area right here.

'Maybe my face?'

'Ow. Oh, I should

have shut my eyes.'

'It's my fault, my fault.'

[instrumental music]

Why did I have to drink so much?

Ow, ooh, ha, whoo!

[chuckling]

Hmm?

♪ Hmm-hmm-hmm-mmm ♪♪

knock knock

No, wait!

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.

I'm here! Ah!

Aah! Ugh!

I'm here!

I'm here!

I was here!

Ah-ha-ha!

It never gets old.

"Sorry we missed you."

Oh-ho.

You're gonna be sorry.

[intense music]

click click click

Your family is gorgeous, Ted.

Your son looks like

quarterback material.

- That's my daughter.

- She's lovely.

And you know a lot of girls

play football these days.

This is quite a resume.

A little hard to read.

That's the Triberica Grand.

"Hairdresser, Marine Corp."

You were the CEO of Enormicorp?

This is all incredibly

impressive.

That's why it's all in bold.

But I'm afraid

you're overqualified.

What? No!

I swear, I'm not.

It only looks that way

because of the giant font size.

Please, I was born to work

in customer service!

Well, I suppose I can make you

the customer service supervisor.

Will I still get to make

people's lives miserable?

Heh! Only when you're

forced to fire someone.

Welcome aboard.

I get to fire people?

Five seconds, you can't go to

the bathroom for five seconds?

(Daffy)

'Thank you for calling

Trans Visitron.'

We're always working for

you.

My name is Daffy.

How can I offer you

excellent service today?

- Daffy?

- Am I speaking to..

...Buges Buney?

It's me!

Okay, Mr. Buney

what seems

to be the problem today?

You know what the problem is,

you live with me.

Our cable's out.

- Is this Bugs Bunny?

- Yes!

(Daffy)

'Then why did you say

your name was Buges Buney?'

I didn't. You did.

Can you just

put our cable back on?

Oh, I don't know how to do that.

I thought you worked there!

I do, but so far

I've just been firing people.

Daffy,

can you please find someone

who can put our cable back on?

I'm about to miss another game!

Alright, here's what

I'm gonna do for you.

I'm going to transfer

you to one of my

customer service

representatives.

No, wait!

Don't put me back on with...

Hello, this is Cecil.

Please, I'm begging you,

the game is about to start.

Isn't there anything you can do

to turn my cable back on?

Hmm. I could try

resetting your account.

Yes! Reset it!

Okey-doke.

How's your day going so far?

- Horrible!

- I'm sorry to hear that.

Just reset it!

Alright, here we go!

You did it!

My cable's back on!

(Cecil)

'Is there anything else

I can help you with today?'

[speaking in foreign language]

But wait,

I only have one channel!

Yep. That's the bronze package.

How is one channel a package?

If you want, I can upgrade

you to the silver package.

What package do I need

to watch the basketball game?

Well, that would

be the gold package.

Then give me the gold package!

Okey-doke, please hold.

Slurp. Oh, that's hot.

Slurp. Oh.

That is good coffee.

[speaking in foreign language]

[speaking in foreign language]

I can't believe

you watch this stuff.

It's garbage! Tsk, tsk.

Watch the basketball game

or something.

Isn't it the playoffs?

[speaking in foreign language]

Maybe I'll just

watch a little bit.

[speaking in foreign language]

[speaking in foreign language]

[speaking in foreign language]

[speaking in foreign language]

[speaking in foreign language]

Well, I have

good news and bad news.

The bad news is,

I was not able to upgrade you

to the gold package.

What's the good news?

[laughs]

Oh, did I say

there was good news?

[evil laugh]

Oh! Ugh!

'Will someone tip me over,

please?'

'Julie?'

'Julie, I know you can hear me.'

'Julie.'

'Julie.'

'Julie!'

'Julie?'

Of course you realize.

This means war!

[instrumental music]

Closed? Why would Pizza Riba be

closed in the middle of the day?

[speaking in foreign language]

[speaking in foreign language]

[speaking in foreign language]

Dr. Jimenez

has a twin brother?

What would Lindsay say? She's

about to sell the hacienda!

She already

has too much on her plate.

- You want to go to Tutty's?

- Eh.

I'm sorry, Julie.

You know how these things

go.

I'm gonna to need you

to clear out your desk.

And anything you might have left

in the office refrigerator.

'Good luck.'

Cecil, where are you going?

I'm on break.

Okay, but you better be back

by 2:30, or you're fired.

What?

Thanks.

Wait, I thought you got

the cheeseburger.

Eh, cottage cheese will be fine.

Try something new.

Who knows, maybe I'll like it.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm, not as cheesy

as you'd think.

Very cottage-y, though.

Okay.

Let me give you a scenario.

Aw, that's so sweet, thank you.

I feel bad, though. I don't

have anything to give you.

Here, take my cottage cheese,

I insist.

Oh, one more quick, huge bite.

No, a scenario.

I'm gonna to describe

a situation at work.

You tell me

how you would handle it.

- Ooh, fun!

- Okay.

Imagine some customer

comes up to you at the counter.

- Who is it?

- Who's what?

- The customer.

- I don't know.

It doesn't matter.

Just pick someone.

- Okay, I've got him.

- Alright.

So this customer is in a hurry,

but you're already busy

'doin' a bunch of other stuff.'

I'm sorry,

where do I work again?

Copy Place!

Right, got it.

'So you tell him

to wait a minute'

'but he keeps ringing the bell

saying, "Miss, miss!"'

(Bugs)

'Miss, miss!'

Well, hello there, customer.

Can I help you?

That depends.

What are you doing

for the rest of your life?

Well, kinda thought

I was going to work here

until I figured out

what I really wanted to do.

Or maybe

I'll go back to college.

Forget all that. Marry me.

[gasps]

Customer!

- Say yes.

- Yes, yes!

I'll be Mrs. Customer!

- Lola!

- Huh?

What would you do with that

customer?

I'd drop everything

and do whatever he said.

He's my customer.

And my customer is my world.

Wow.

I... think I've got

the wrong personality

for customer service.

You know, maybe just

one more teeny huge bite.

[instrumental music]

Welcome to the coffee hut.

My name is Becky.

How can I offer you

excellent service today?

I'll have a cappuccino.

- Okey-doke.

- I'm kind of in a hurry.

Oh, looks like

the machine's not working.

If you'd like, I can upgrade

you to a regular coffee.

I don't know

how that's an upgrade

but, okay.

Okey-doke.

♪ Du-tu-du ♪

♪ Data-ta-ta-da tu-du-du-du ♪♪

Uh-oh, are you watching

the playoffs?

No.

I really am in a hurry.

Okey-doke. Oh, you know

what?

- We're out of coffee.

- Ugh, forget it.

If you like,

you can come back tomorrow

some time between

8:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m.

[intense music]

'Whoo! 2:28.'

ding

Going up?

ding

What package would you like?

Package? I just want

to go to the 22nd floor.

Well, there's a number of ways

to get to the 22nd floor.

Ah, you can get

the silver package

which takes

you to the 20th floor

but you'll have to walk

the last two floors.

Or I can give you the gold

package

which takes you straight to 22.

But that's not available till

September of next year, see.

Or now in the bronze package

for every floor we go up,

we go down, too.

So that one

takes a while, mm-hmm.

Forget it, I'll take the stairs.

Okey-doke. Heh.

[instrumental music]

Did I provide you with excellent

service today?

I'm sorry, sir,

we can't photocopy money.

Of course you can!

You just put the dollar

in the machine

and make a million copies!

Oh, thank goodness you're here.

I need you to take care

of this customer.

That's what I wanted

to talk to you about.

I don't think I can do that

and be positive and upbeat.

Forget positive and upbeat.

Right now I need rude

and mean-spirited.

You were right,

I had no idea how hard

it was dealing

with these people!

ding ding ding

What are you lookin' at, girly?

I'll tell you

what I'm lookin' at.

A sad little man

who buys his jeans

in the children's department

and who's about to get beat up

with his own boots.

'You hear me?

And if you ever steal'

'my friend's

parkin' space again'

'I'll put you in a shoe box'

and bury you in my backyard.

Welcome back.

[Cecil panting]

Whoo! I made it.

Where is everyone?

Where am I?

- 'The future.'

- What?

Where are all the customer

service representatives?

In the future, there are none.

But why?

Because one

customer was so mistreated

that he rose up

and the people followed!

[gasps]

Mr. Buney!

It's pronounced Bunny!

- But you can stop him.

- How?

By turning his cable back on.

- Oh!

- Do it now.

So he doesn't rise up!

Wait, don't you need

to take me back in time

in order for this to work?

Yes! Normally.

But, uh, for a bunch

of time travel reasons

that you wouldn't understand

uh, we're gonna

to do it this way.

- But...

- Just hurry!

The time hole is closing!

Oh, no, the time hole!

There, it's on.

Is that all the movie channels?

Fine.

I know he had

the full sports package.

While you're at it,

why don't you throw in

the Spanish language channels?

I think he's got a friend

who watches them sometimes.

I did it. Now bring me

back to the present.

Oh, good, Cecil, it's you.

- You're fired.

- What?

Go ahead

and clear out your desk.

Well, that's everyone.

Oh, hey, Bugs.

I think you mean, Buges.

[gasps]

Buges Buney?

Oh, hey. Thanks for providing me

with excellent service today.

- Unbelievable!

- What?

Ted fired me

because I fired everybody else.

Apparently you have to have

a reason to fire people.

See, that's why I don't like

working for big

corporations.

Well, at least the cable's on

in time for Game Seven.

Hey, Speedy,

would you mind changing...

You're just in time! Lindsay's

about to have her baby.

Who's Lindsay?

(Speedy)

'Lindsay is the American

foreign exchange student'

'living in the hacienda

with Dr. Jimenez'

but she doesn't know

that the hacienda

was built on an ancient

Aztecan burial ground.

[speaking in foreign language]

So Dr. Jimenez is the bad guy?

No, Felix is the bad guy.

Dr. Jimenez is wonderful.

He's the father!

[gasps]

Eh, I'll watch

the finals next year.

[theme music]

That's all, folks.

Whoa, whoa whoa!

'Will someone tip me over,

please?'

'Please. Hello?'

'Julie?'

'Julie?'