Bugs' house[]
Living room[]
[We open on a shot of a game show being watched in the living room.]
Game Show Host: Who was the first president of the United States?
[Bugs watches in boredom as Daffy tries guessing the answers...]
Daffy: Oprah!
Contestant: George Washington.
[...though by the contestant's answer, it seems like Daffy isn't and won't get very far.]
Host: What is the capital of Alaska?
Daffy: New York!
Contestant: Juneau
[The audience applaud the contestant.]
Host: How many sides are on a triangle?
Daffy: Eight! No, four! No, eight!
Contestant (OS): Three.
[Bugs watches Daffy as the audience applaud the contestant.]
Host: Name an ingredient in spaghetti and meatballs.
Daffy: Oranges!
Contestant: Meatballs.
Host: You've just won a million dollars!
Contestant: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yea-
[Confetti comes down on the contestant as he cheers with red writing which reads "$1,000,000". Daffy then shuts off the TV outraged by the contestant's outcome.]
Daffy: How is it that that dummy won a million dollars and I've never won anything?
Bugs: Oh, I'm sure it's just a matter of time.
Daffy: It better be, because I don't wanna end up a bitter jealous person.
[Except that's what he eventually becomes.]
Daffy: Say, I should go on a game show!
Bugs: What game show are you qualified for?
Daffy: Uh... Wheel Of Words?
Bugs: You don't know how to spell.
Daffy: How about Price Is Correct?
[Bugs shows Daffy a packet of chewing gum.]
Bugs: How much do you think this pack of gum sells for?
[After a beat...]
Daffy: $33,000?
[Incorrect!]
Bugs: Good luck with that.
[Bugs turns the TV back on to show the same host from earlier.]
Host: Stay tuned for the new game show: Besties! Where knowing all about your best friend leads to big prizes!
[The Besties logo shows two friends with their arms on the other's shoulder with the show title in the middle. Daffy looks amazed. He's found the "perfect" game show!]
Daffy: [gasps] We should go on that! We've been best friends forever! We know everything there is to know about each other!
Bugs: I never thought I would say this, but that's not a bad idea, Daffy Duck.
Daffy: Why thank you, Bugs... um... I wanna say... Bada Blingya?
[Nope. Definitely NOT his name. The two remain still for a few seconds before the camera fades to black.]
Kitchen[]
[After the theme song, we cut to the house, before dissolving into the kitchen to show Bugs eating Chinese food in peace, before...]
Daffy: [runs in] I did it! I got us onto tomorrow's episode of Besties!
Bugs: How'd ya manage that?
Daffy: There are some things you shouldn't know about me. But you better know everything else!
[He hands Bugs a Besties booklet, which likely contains details about their game.]
Bugs: I'm more concerned with how little you know about me.
Daffy: I know everything about you! Hit me with some questions. Go ahead.
Bugs: Alright, what's my favourite colour?
Daffy: Pass.
Bugs: What time do I go to bed at night?
[Daffy takes out a meatball.]
Daffy: Pass. Give me something easy!
Bugs: Fine. When's my birthday?
Daffy: Januar...
[Bugs shakes his head.]
Daffy: Februar...
[He shakes it again.]
Daffy: September?
[And again.]
Daffy: December?
[And again.]
Daffy: Jul...
[Correct answer!]
Daffy: July! July 1st? July 2nd? July 3rd? July 4th? FIFTH, SIXTH, SEVENTH, EIGHTH, NINTH, TENTH!
Bugs: 27th.
Daffy: July 27th!
[Daffy tries to eat the meatball, but it falls out of his chopsticks and rolls under the fridge. He goes over there with a vacuum.]
Daffy: Well, happy extremely belated birthday! Or... [he sucks something out from under the fridge...] Happy extremely early birthday.
[...it's Speedy Gonzales!]
Daffy: AAAAAHHHHAAAHHH!!!!
Bugs: Hey, Speedy.
Speedy: Hola, Bugs.
Daffy: You said you took care of the rat problem!
Speedy: I'm not a rat, I'm a mouse!
[Speedy zooms off and out of the house.]
Bugs: You don't know anything about me! I bet, if you looked "self-absorbed" up in the dictionary, you'd find your picture.
[Daffy continues vacuuming for the meatball.]
Daffy: My picture's in the dictionary?! Is it a good one? What am I wearing? Does my beak look big?
[He catches the meatball and walks over to the table.]
Daffy: Haha! Gotcha!
[Daffy eats it.]
Bugs: This is hopeless.
[Bugs leaves and walks into the...]
Living room[]
Daffy: Don't get mad at me. Those questions were impossible! I bet you don't know when my birthday is.
[Bugs sits on the couch and grabs the remote.]
Bugs: Your birthday is April 17th, your favourite colour is Dusty Rose and you go to bed every night at 10:00pm except on New Year's Eve, when you go to bed at 8:30pm, because and I quote "New Year's is a holiday invented by the media".
Daffy: It is!
Bugs: Forget it. Find a different best friend to go on that show. [turns TV on]
Daffy: But I need you. I prize prizes above all else. This is my shot at finally winning something! I'll do anything!
Bugs: Even if it means focusing on someone other than yourself for more than two minutes? [turns TV off]
Daffy: That sounds awful... but I'll do it!
[A little while later, Daffy is sat in his armchair with a pad and pencil.]
Bugs: [in English accent] Well, Daffy, you know how I hate to talk about myself, but uh, let us turn back the clock, [Daffy slowly starts to get bored] it was on the East side of New York, where me parents resides admist humble surroundings.
[Daffy starts snoring. Not more than two minutes yet!]
Bugs (OS): [in English accent] Did I say New York? I meant the planet Crypton.
[Daffy wakes up, interested!]
Bugs: [in normal accent] Anywho, my parents knew that our planet was doomed.
[We fade to a flashback.]
Bug's Flashback, Crypton[]
[Heroic music plays as we pan over to a glass base.]
Base interior[]
[Inside is baby Bugs as well as his parents. They are surrounded by a large crystal structure.]
Bugs (VO): So my father, Jorrell... built a spaceship.
[Pan down to Jorrell and his wife. They appear to be sending Bugs away.]
Jorrell: His dense, molecular structure will make him strong.
[Jorrell's wife places Bugs inside the spaceship.]
Jorrell (partially OS): He'll be fast, virtually invulnerable [on-screen] and he'll say "What's up, doc?" indiscriminately whether he's speaking to a doctor or not.
[Jorrell holds up a crystal carrot.]
Jorrell: You'll travel far, my little Bugs...
[He places the carrot inside the ship.]
Jorrell (partially OS): ...but we will never leave you.
[Jorrell comforts his wife as the spaceship closes. It then flies through the roof, smashing all it's glass. We then dissolve back to...]
Bugs' house[]
Living room[]
[Daffy clearly has been paying attention!]
Daffy: You're from the planet Krypton?
Bugs: No, you maroon! That's the story of Superman!
Daffy: Who is Superman?
Bugs: I can't believe I hitched my wagon to you.
Daffy: You have a wagon?
Bugs: Daffy, concentrate!
[Daffy starts concentrating on... nothing. Not what Bugs meant.]
Bugs: On me!
Daffy: Oh! Sorry, Superman!
Bugs: [sighs] This is gonna be a long night.
[Well said. Shortly after, the camera fades to black.]
Besties[]
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